Pitch Feedback

After presenting my idea in the form if a pitch, I was given a number of pieces of feedback based around what I presented.

The first main area that was evident needed work was the script. In my film, the narrative is entirely based around my script. The voice over is going to reveal the plot twist at the end. Meaning that if the script is not worded perfectly, the film's quality (in its entirety) could be brought down. 

The reason I did not present a script in this pitch is because I did not want to present something that was not finished and did not have any detailed meaning behind it. 

To make my animatic even more detailed and present a more accurate version (which will be closer to the film) adding the voice over will allow me to see if all of the timings work. This will highlight any errors with my script